*Sigh*......Sometimes I get an "unsettled" feeling in myself. Wishing I could be doing more. Wanting to have more time. Wanting to be giving more of myself. Seeing so many opportunities in which others need help and feeling like I just can't do enough to possibly help......(and yes, I know, it can be the little things that can count sometimes). Feeling somewhat guilty of the comfortable life I live - the cupboards full of food, the closet full of clothes, the loving people that I have in my life....
Anyways. Two recent things have probably left me feeling a little this way....
1) My prison pen pal. Well, she's no longer my prison pen pal because she was released a couple of weeks ago. We had talked about her getting out and her plans and such. But I still am concerned she will go back to the same old life she lived before (which is a life that I cannot even begin to understand or imagine). It just didn't seem like she had a positive network of people to help her get her feet on the ground......All I can do is pray now. She said she wanted to continue to write to me after she got out. My last letter that I sent to her didn't make it on time. It got returned to me the other day. I don't have any other address to send it to her....so I wait to see if I ever hear from her again..........I just hope that she will allow God to continue the work that He began in her.
2) A group of women from church went to Mel Trotter this morning to volunteer. I was somewhat aware of the ministries that this place was doing, but naively unaware of the many, many people in such great need in the Grand Rapids community. Basic needs. And Mel Trotter does focus a lot on basic needs, such as food, shelter, education, clothing, etc., but they also place a huge emphasis on the spiritual. We were only there a couple of hours and I know what we did was a tremendous help as many hands help to make work light, but, I still left feeling like there is such an overwhelming need that I can't help with.
And I think that's where my struggle with all of this is - I like to fix things. I like to solve problems. I like to get things done. I like to be efficient. I like to see change. I forget that it's not up to me. All of this is in God's hands. He is more than capable. He is fully in control. He is continually working for His cause and His glory.
I'll continue to aim to be willing to do as He leads and look for opportunities, even the small ones, that I can do in His name.
